Cricket was doomed before we even set off for the opposition ground. The rain was falling pretty hard where we were the away ground was at best only 30 minutes away but we had to travel and give it the best shot of playing. This after all was a match we fancied ourselves to win.
As we arrived Pritts let us know that there had just been a huge downpour there and the track was looking decidedly dodgy. We all wandered out to the square and knew straight away that the game would be called off without a ball being bowled...
...we hadn't accounted for their eccentric umpire though. "It'll drain in 30 minutes, give it until the hour and we'll make a start."
"Umps, there is water soaking into my boots when I tread on the track!" Skip retorted but to no avail. He was dead set on a start so at 2pm we took to the field and bowled. 2 overs and 2 balls went by before SemiPro slipped through his delivery stride and landed flat on his ar5e. At this point the game was stopped until conditions improved.
As the minutes ticked by and a couple more rain clouds dropped their payload onto the sodden wicket, we waited and still the umpire believed we would resume. To break the monotiny we took to their outfield in what was a rare dry spell and started some catching practice. We played a game called "Kings and Sluts" where the catcher on the hook is the king and the catchter on the cover drive is the slut, these grades are relevant to the difficulty in catching from these positions. A dropped catch sends you to the end of the semi-cirle and you become the slut in turn promoting each of the other players by one. A missfeild on a grounded ball costs you one place to the catcher's left. We each took out turns as king and slut, our catching is atrocious, before we moved onto some big outfield catches.
Finally the game was abandoned at almost 5pm. We had a few beers at their clubhouse (on the toilet floor of which we had found a sample of human faeces) and then made a move home to get ready for our annual Race Night.
If you have never been to one of these nights I can thoroughly recommend them. It a bit of harmless gambling and a great social event rounded off with plenty of alchohol amongst great friends. SemiPro's housmate had brought with her a good looking friend who quickly found her feet amongst the welcoming pack that we must have appeared. The beers flowed freely and when they were running low we moved onto Malibu, or should I say all but Nayling and me. No, we had some very cheap vodka which I'm sure is normally used to strip back paint. A punt on 'Beef-Eater' at the end of the night saw C-Bear, Nayling and me rake in some big winnings so jugs of beer and more shots were called for.
As people started to leave the hardcore turned their thoughts to a round of poker, with money not an option the currency was clothing. Now, I am not the best poker player in the world so starting the round with only 4 pieces of clothing on, and that included my necklace, was not the best idea. 4 hands later and I was stark bo**ock naked!
Fortunately the others started to lose some hands too and I was soon joined in the "free" world by Bandai, SemiPro, Robins, C-Bear and Nayling with Herman and Pritts fighting it out at the end. For those of us that made the naked state early forfeits were ordered for a failed hand.
Before the end of the night SemiPro and I took on the role of naked barmen!
"Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps? Certainly sir! Can I get you anything else?"
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